Are You Hungry?
by Marsfish
Summary: Natsu is a pretty playboy with a dilemma: someone keeps stealing his food! He's going crazy trying to figure it out, as he wishes brutal murder on the perpetrator. Little does he know, his misfortune is someone's saving grace. Warning: sex and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Fairy Tail...no shit**

* * *

Chapter 1

A boy with pink- I'm sorry- salmon, hair walked out onto his porch with a stack of burnt pancakes; just the way he likes em. He plopped down on a chair and started to dig into the glorious burnt feast before him. He had his fork halfway to his mouth and his mouth wide open in preparation of the mind blowing flavor he was about to have oral with; when he suddenly stopped stock still. His eyes narrowed and he angrily slammed the fork and plate down on the table. "The fuck!" He shot up and marched back into his house muttering absentmindedly, "I forgot the goddamn, motherfucking, cocksucking, hot as hell and easy to blow coffee." When he entered the kitchen, he saw his dad sitting at the table…..drinking _his_ coffee. "Goddamnit, old man! Stop stealing my shit!"

The said _old man_ looked up from the paper he was reading. "And here I thought I had such a wonderful, loving son that wanted to make his caring and hardworking dad a nice cup of coffee...or as you put it, shit." Hell it almost tasted like shit since his son liked it black.

"Ughhh, you know what?!" The boy fumed, steam rising in his ears. "Fuck it, drink the shit, I'm too tired to make more."

"You know that's the point of coffee, right Natsu?"

The said boy glared at his father. "Fuck the shit." He turned his heel, grabbing his pack of cigarettes, and eagerly walked back to the meal that was making him almost want to jizz in his pants just thinking about. He stood in front of the table on the porch, never having wanted to kill an inanimate object more in his life. His food was gone….his food….was gone. "Someone's fucking with me." He said blandly, one step away from laughing at his own misery. "Someone's trying to fuck me in the ass with a shit covered stick." He then looked up at the sky. "There's no point though, the stick will just get shittier once it's been in _my ass._ " He declared it to no one as if he just proved someone wrong. He lit a cigarette and sighed. "I'm glad you're around, my beautiful fucking slut." He looked at his beautiful cigarette with adoration. "Don't let anyone else blow you though."

"STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF, SON!"

"OLD MAN, YOU KNOW I'M TOO DRUNK TO NOTICE!" He yelled back. "Am I really that drunk if I know I'm drunk." He stomped out his cigarette and went back into the house again, not ready in the least to get ready for school. "When the hell are you leaving again?"

"Tomorrow, I'll be gone for a few months. Don't miss me while I'm gone."

"Like hell, old man. Good riddance." They both smirked. It was an odd way of saying 'I love you', but those words weren't either of their styles; like father, like son...or so they say.

Natsu rummaged through his room, ignoring the naked girl lying on his bed. Only occasionally stealing glances at her large chest. ' _Does she have inverted nipples? That's weird, I could have sworn they were poking my cheeks last night.'_ He finally found the clothes he was looking for, and put on his baggy, black jeans, tight, red muscle shirt, and his white scarf. Slipping on his black converse shoes, and slinging his black backpack over his shoulders, he stalked his way over to the girl. He stared at her nipples and decided to see if he could perk them up a bit, because shit they just looked so depressed. He bent down and took one in his mouth. ' _Mmm a much better meal in the morning.'_ He swirled his tongue around it and sucked on it. He grinned in triumph as it started to get hard. He was amazed that she was still sleeping. He wanted her gone when he got back from school, so he decided to wake her up, and hopefully leave her sexually frustrated. He continues his ministrations on her nipple, and slipped a finger down her dry folds. ' _Goddamnit, well maybe if it hurts she'll wake up.'_ He slipped a finger inside her, albeit with a little too much effort for his liking, and pumped back and forth. Finally she began to stir.

"Mmm… oh yes!" She moaned and grabbed his hair. He bit down on her nipple, making her yelp, and pulled back sticking his now wet finger into his mouth.

"You should really leave, unless you wanna give my father a good fuck."

"Excuse me? You're kicking me out?! I thought we had something special!" He rolled his eyes.

"Look babe, you're cute, but I don't date. If you want more fun, just walk downstairs in your birthday suit, god knows my dad needs a good release, but make sure you leave soon, sweet cheeks." He winked and slapped her tit before he walked out, ignoring her yelling.

As he went back onto his porch his eyes went wide. There was his empty plate and fork sitting on the table. "Am I fucking high right now?" He shook his head and walked towards his black Lamborghini, cuz he was rich as hell. He sped off, wondering if there were raccoons or some shit with highly intelligent brains as to put back a plate where it got it. "Someone's definitely fucking with me."

* * *

 **So someone at my work thought it would be really funny to steal my lunch. So as I sat there on my break, lunchless, I wrote this. Because fucking shit, I was mad and hungry...I still don't know who did it...**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Natsu slumped in his seat, his stomach grumbling loudly.

"Oi, shut your needy stomach up, I won't be able to concentrate." A boy with black hair said as he took his seat next to him.

"It ain't my fault, dick breath. Just close your big ears. You won't be able to pass this test anyways."

"What'd you say ash face?! I think I'm getting dumber just looking at you!"

"Fuck you, Gray." They growled and glared at each other before a timid voice interrupted them.

"Um, excuse me." They looked over to see a cute girl with a small blush staring at them. "I couldn't help but notice that you were hungry. You can have my lunch." She put her lunch bag on his desk. Gray snickered and Natsu punched him on the arm.

"Thanks, cutie." He winked. She blushed harder and ran off before he could say anything else.

"See? Your stomach was bothering everyone!" Gray laughed.

"Well, I got a free meal out of it." Natsu gloated as he dug into the beautiful food.

"Alright class, sit down and shut up!" The class groaned as the teacher closed the door.

* * *

It was late at night as Natsu sat on his bed, drunk off his ass. He threw his head back and growled low in his throat, and grabbed a handful of brown hair is it bobbed up and down on his dick. "Come on, beautiful. Make me cum." He rasped. The nameless girl started choking as he rocked his hips into her mouth. He sighed and pulled her up, throwing her onto the bed, before plowing into her. ' _Why can't girls suck me off right?'_ He guessed that's what he got for picking up such easy bitches.

He grunted as he pulled out and came on her stomach. He went to the bathroom to clean himself off. When he went back in his room, she was gone. ' _Finally a girl who gets the drill.'_ Sadly, there weren't too many of those. He went downstairs, made some coffee, and sat down on his porch. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Seeing who it was, he lit a cigarette and walked to the other end of the porch, before picking up. "Hey, Lisanna. What's up?...uhuh….yeah, no problem, I can pick you up tomorrow….no, worries, that's what friends are for right?...alright, cya." He hung up and turned around. His coffee cup was empty….what. The. Fuck. He ran around his house, trying to find some sign of a perpetrator. Finding no sign of life, he went back to his empty cup of coffee. He screamed into the night sky. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

* * *

He was racking his brain trying to figure out if he was insane. He needed to find out why the fuck someone wanted him to always be hungry or thirsty. Was it a sick joke? Was someone laughing their asses off right now? He decided it was time to put a stop to this, so he came up with a plan. He was manically cackling to himself as he made a plate of mouthwatering pasta. He set it on the table on the porch, fork, napkin, candle and all. He went back inside and glued his eyes on this window, grinning evilly. He was a fucking genius. He waited….and waited...and waited...his bladder started tingling...then hurting…."goddamnit." He quickly rushed to to bathroom. It took him about a full minute to quell his annoying bladder. He went back to the window, only to see an empty plate, and the candle blown out. He rushed outside. "Are you fucking serious?! I was only gone a minute!" Literally, just one minute. "Who the fuck are you?! And what the fuck do you have against me?! God damn mother fucking bullshit. Fucking stupid pubic haired mustache motherfucking douchebag. I'll rip out your balls! You goddamn sack of flee puke!" He finally ended his gibberish rant, angrily picked up the dishes, and stormed back inside. "I will catch you, bastard. Mark my words."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Natsu awoke with determination in his eyes. He was going to catch the culprit today, no doubt about it. As he started making waffles he started making his plan. He got out his phone and balanced it in the window. He hit record and went outside and set the plate on the table. He acted like he forgot something and went back inside to make coffee. He went back outside, but was shocked that his food was still there. ' _What the hell? How does he know when I'm watching?!'_ He ate his food and went back inside. He noticed the time, and raced to get ready since he had to pick Lisanna up before school, luckily they both lived really close to school.

* * *

He was sitting at lunch with his friends, when a girl with blonde hair standing in the lunch line caught his attention. "Hey guys, who's that?" They followed his gaze.

"I'm not sure." A girl with blue hair, named Levy said.

"I've seen her a few times in here," a girl with red hair, named Erza said. "But I've never seen her in any classes."

"She's probably either new, or in a different year than us." Gajeel, a man with long, spiky black hair and piercings all over his face said. They watched as she went to sit at an empty table in the corner of the room.

"We should go say hi." Levy chimed.

Natsu smirked as he noticed her huge chest and tiny waist. ' _She looks like a screamer.'_ "Yeah we should." He stood up and started walking over with his friends following.

She looked up with wide eyes as she watched a group of people come towards her. "Oh fuck." She muttered.

"Hey there." Natsu winked at her. "Care if we sit down?"

"Yes, actually." They all blinked, but sat down anyways. She huffed.

"So what's your name?" Levy asked.

"What's yours?" She answered.

"I'm Levy. And this is Gajeel, Erza, Gray, and Natsu." She pointed to the appropriate parties. "So, what's your name?"

"What's it to you?"

"Geeze, can't give a straight answer, can you?" Gray said. "So then, are you new here?"

"Yes." She replied with a glare.

"What's up your butt?" Gajeel glared back.

She sighed. "Sorry, I guess I'm just in a bad mood."

"It's alright, so come on. I need a name to go with that pretty face." Natsu smiled at her.

"Lucy." She answered.

"Well, Lucy, what classes do you have? I hope it's not Mr. Better. He's a dignified asshole."

"Natsu! Don't talk about your teachers that way!" Erza glared, and he cowered.

"S-sorry, Erza."

"No I don't. Excuse me." She finished her sandwich and abruptly left the cafeteria. They stared at the spot she was previously in.

"What the fuck is her deal?" Gray said.

"I dunno, maybe she isn't used to having friends?" Levy contemplated, she was troubled by her actions. They were just being friendly right?

"She'll warm up to us." Natsu said. ' _And I'll get her into bed.'_

* * *

Natsu was walking out of school when a white haired girl ran up to him. "Natsuuuu!" She yelled as she ran up to him. He chuckled when she through herself in his arms.

"What's up, Lisanna?" He grinned.

"Wanna come with me to a cafe?" She smiled.

"Sure. Let's go!" He grabbed her hand and went to his car.

They sat at the cafe at a table for two. Natsu was chowing down on about a dozen muffins, while Lisanna watched him with a cute smile on her face. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and froze mid bite.

"What's that look for, Lisanna?"

"Hmm, oh I was just think, this is kinda like a date isn't it?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Umm, no. You know I don't date, Lis."

"But you're making an exception for me, right?" she asked as her smile dropped.

"Sorry, Lis. We're best friends. I don't wanna change that."

"Well then, why can't you just treat me like all those other girls, and we'll have some fun, along with being best friends." She grinned.

"Nope. Not gunna happen." He gave her a stern gaze.

"Why not, Natsu." She whined with pleading eyes. "Am I not pretty enough?!"

He sighed. "That's not it, Lis. I just never wanna see the girls I fuck again. I use them, and I know I do. I wouldn't want to do that to you, and I wouldn't want our friendship to change. I like what we have." he sighed again and stood up, reaching his hand out to her. "Come on, Lis. Let's go to my place and watch a movie, eat popcorn, and have a good time."

She smiled and grabbed his hand. "It's a date."

"No it's not."

They got back to his house, and he got a really genius idea. "Hey, Lis. Wanna see something that's been driving me fucking crazy?"

"Language, Natsu! And sure!" She smiled as she watched him make a bowl of pasta. "Umm, what are you doing?"

"Okay, just act like everything's normal. We're gunna sit down on the porch. Eat a little of this, but not much. Act like you gotta use the bathroom, and I'll show you where it is. Got it?"

She blinked at him. "Uhhh...okay?" She followed him and did exactly as he said. When they were inside, she turned to him. "I don't have to pee, Natsu."

He laughed. "I know, now follow me." She followed him back outside, thinking he was really losing his mind, until she saw what he was pointing at. The bowl was empty….completely empty.

"See?! I was with you the whole time, right?! Someone's been stealing my food! They do it so fucking fast, too! I haven't seen or heard anybody! They keep doing it! I'm going in-fucking-sane!" She stared dumbfounded.

"I dunno, Natsu, it is pretty weird. But you don't have to yell! Or curse! I think someone just decided to mess with you, Natsu. It's probably someone in our group."

He blinked. "You think so?"

"It's possible."

"Those motherfuckers! I'm gunna kill em! I'm gunna rip their brains out!"

"Natsu! Language!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day at lunch. Natsu's group of friends were entirely creeped out by him. He just kept staring and staring at their faces.

"Do you want a fucking picture, dipshit?!" Gajeel finally snapped.

"Was it you?" Natsu asked with narrowed eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Was it you?" He repeated.

"The fuck?!"

"Natsu, I really don't think it was anyone here." Lisanna tugged on his arm and he sat down with a huff.

"What is going on Lis?" Erza asked.

"Well," she looked over at Natsu to see if he would explain, but he was busy glaring at a wall. "Someone has been stealing his food right from under his nose. I thought he was being a little exaggerate, but I saw it myself."

"I'm confused." Levy said.

"When he puts any food on his porch, if he turns his back on it, it'll be gone when he turns around." She explained further

"You sure the devil hasn't just decided to fuck with you. I mean, you'd kinda deserve it." Gray said, however Natsu didn't seem to hear him, he was staring at something. He followed his gaze and smirked. "Oh look, there's Lucy." They all turned to look at her. She was going through the lunch line, about to pay for her food.

"Ya know...I've really only ever seen her at lunch. I've done meetings with other grade's classes, and I can't recall ever encountering her." Erza mused.

"Do you think she even goes here?" Lisanna asked.

"Why the hell would she be here now if she didn't go here?" Gajeel barked making Lisanna shrink in her seat. Suddenly Natsu jumped up, and they all watched as he approached the said blonde.

She was about to pay for her meal, which consisted of an apple, a drink, and a spoon full of what kinda looked like soup mixed with mashed potatoes. Before she could pay, however, someone's arm snakes around her and handed the cashier a $5 bill. She followed the arm to see that boy with pink hair smirking at her. "Natsu..right?"

"The one and only." He grabbed his change and they stepped to the side to allow the next person to pay.

"You didn't have to pay." She said dryly.

"Mmm nope I didn't. But I did." He grinned like he was a hero.

She scoffed, "I'm guessing you want a thank you?"

"Only if you want to give me one. I'll take other forms of thanks though." He put his smirk back on and leaned closer.

"And what are these...other forms of thanks?" She asked warily eyeing him up and down.

"Anything you want them to be, babe." He twirled a lock of her hair between his fingers.

She groaned, "no thanks." He blinked at her and could only stand frozen as she walked out of the cafeteria...tray in hand.

Lisanna watched the spectacle with clenched teeth, how could he chose someone who clearly doesn't like him instead of her?

"Damn Natsu, haven't seen you get shut down in a long time." Gray smirked as Natsu sat back down at their table.

"She'll come around." He grumbled.

"Uhh...did she just leave the school with that tray?" Levy chimed.

"I'm starting to think she may not go here at all." Lisanna said

"I don't get why she would come in here then." Gray said.

"Maybe she likes the food?" They all blinked at Levy and then busted up in laughter. The school's food was shit...pure shit.

* * *

Natsu didn't even bring a girl home that night. He was just laying on his bed, listening to music. He was too pissed about this thing to even want to do anything. Not to mention he was confused as hell about this Lucy chick who refused his advances. He groaned and got up to make some food, since his stomach wouldn't shut the fuck up. He popped some spicy ramen in the microwave and waited while he stared out the window. His brows furrowed while he stared in thought. The ding of the microwaved pulled him from his stupor and he nearly came right then when he smelled his dinner.

He sat out on the porch, food in hand, and ate as he stared at the Forest in the corner of his eye. He could swear he saw some rustling. He put his half empty bowl down, and walked into the house, into the living room and back out again. He took note of the fact that his bowl was now empty, and broke into a full blown sprint towards the spot where he saw rustling before. He could hear someone's footsteps the further he got into the woods, and it wasn't long until he saw a dark figure running up ahead. He pushed himself faster and he could almost reach the figure. As soon as he got close enough, he lunged forward, and tackled it to the ground. He heard a shriek when they made impact with the ground, and he had a feeling that he hurt the person.

He panted heavily as he laid on top of the person. He sat up on his knees and put his hands on their shoulders to turn them around. When the person rolled over with a hard gleam in their eyes, his eyes widened and he breathlessly whispered, "You."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You." Natsu whispered as he tried to catch his breath. "What. The. Fuck?!"

She glared at him as she reached up and gingerly touched her lip, which was now bleeding. " _Me_ what the fuck? _You_ what the fuck?! You made me bleed, asshole!"

His mouth hung open in shock at the girl underneath him. "The fuck is wrong with you? You're stealing my goddamn food, and you call _me_ an asshole?!"

"You heard me, cockstain!" She spit her blood on his face.

He scowled and wiped the blood off his cheek. "You know, you've been making me think I'm fucking insane! I was about to check myself into a psyche Ward!"

She suddenly burst out laughing, making him look at her like she had grown two heads. "Y-you're. You're an idiot!"

"Hey!" He barked and grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head, making her laughter cut off. "What the fuck do you have against me?"

Her glare turned icy, surprising him, and she spit out through gritted teeth, "you're an easy target, that's all."

"I'm an easy target?" He asked, bewildered. "Just look at you! With your huge tits, tiny waist, delicious hips, and a sexy ass. You're the easiest target in the world!"

"Thanks for the compliment, but the get the fuck off of me, you jackhammered pencildick!" She writhed and bucked her hips in an attempt to get free, much to his pleasure.

"i really appreciate the dick rubs," she stopped immediately and glared at him. "But, if you'd be so kind, I'd like you to answer my goddamn questions."

She huffed. "Let me go, first."

He eyed her warily before he slowly moved off of her. "I'll pin you down again if you run."

She huffed and crossed her arms under her chest once she sat upright. "So, ask your damn questions."

He crossed his legs in front of her and rested his head in his hand. "Why me?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're a rich, spoiled brat who's mostly home alone. Honestly, how do you not get robbed all the time?"

He scowled, "I resent that. And if anyone tried to steal from me, I'd impale them in the asshole with a rusty stick."

"But then you'd be left with a shitcovered stick." She pointed out.

He busted out laughing, which made her lips involuntarily quirk up. "Alright, alright. So, why food? Why not steal anything else?"

She looked at him like he was stupid. "I was hungry. Why the fuck else?"

He tilted his head. "So why not make you're own food?"

"Get your nose out of my ass, it's none of your damn business." She grumbled looking away.

"ugh, fine. Last question." He waited until she looked back at him to continue. "Do you go to my school?"

"Fuck no." Was her curt reply.

"So why the fuc-"

"No more questions!" She cut him off with a small growl that highly intrigued him. "Are we done here? Can I go now, your highness?"

"I'll let you go free, on one condition." He smirked.

She backed away a little and slowly muttered, "what condition?"

"Show me how you do it!" He pleaded with large, crazy eyes. "Its been driving me insane!"

She chuckled lightly and shook her head. "Fine, but some other time. I'm tired."

"Tomorrow then." He huffed.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, tomorrow. I'll come by whenever."

"Deal." He grinned and stuck his hand out. "Sorry bout yer lip, by the way."

She hesitantly accepted his handshake and stood up. "Whatever." She dusted herself off, and started walking away. "See you tomorrow."

"See ya!" He waved as he retreated back to his house. It took him about five minutes to walk back home, and he grinned as he stepped into the kitchen. The mystery was finally over, and it was a hot girl, no less. He popped some more spicy ramen into his microwave, since he didn't get to eat the last one. He was excited to see how she did it tomorrow. Honestly, it blew his mind. She was lightning fast, he didn't understand it. He felt kinda bad for busting her lip, maybe he should make sure she's okay tomorrow.

The microwave dinged, and he grinned again as he pulled out his food that held an orgasmic aroma. He almost jizzed right then and there. He move to his porch and happily sighed as he sat down. Finally! He could eat out here in peace! His eyes darted to the bushes for a moment, before he started to dig in to his food. "Ohhh, holy glory tits! Sooo fucking good!" He took a few more bites before his phone buzzed in his pocket. He put his food down and stood up to answer it, walking to the other side of the porch. "Hello?...whatsup?...oh, sorry, Lis. I have plans tomorrow. Some other time, okay?...uh, yeah sure, day after tomorrow sounds fine…..no it's not...bye, Lisanna." He sighed as he hung up, and turned to sit back down...only to stare at his empty bowl. A vein popped in his forehead and he stepped to the edge of the porch, eyes searching frantically. "Damnit, Lucy! Fucking stop! You god damn crazy hormonal bitch! You'll pay for that tomorrow!" He sighed, grabbing his empty bowl, and marching into his house, angrily. "Take a cheese grater to your tits, see how you like it." He muttered under his breath before he kicked his door closed, missing the soft giggle that came from the nearby bushes.

* * *

 **I know, I know. It's been ages since I updated this. Originally, this story was a way to just vent out frustration in the form of Natsu, haha. Now, it's kinda just a way to drabble when I have writer's block. Anyway, thanks for the reviews! I really do love you guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Lucy slowly and cautiously made her way up the porch of Natsu's house. She was so used to always sneaking around it, that being invited was slightly unsettling. She clutched the strap of her black backpack, and took a deep breath before she opened the door and stepped inside. It was a beautiful house, the walls were made of wood, as were the floors. The house gave off a feeling that you were camping, and it smelled the same. It was calming. "Natsu?" She hesitantly called out, only to receive no response. She huffed and stomped her foot, "I bet he ditched me, that jackass." She looked around the house for a bit, and saw a set of stairs, which she immediately climbed. To her surprise, the stairs didn't creak at all. She shook her head, why would she be surprised? They're rich as fuck. She crept through the second story, trying to be as silent as possible, which was stupid cuz she was trying to get Natsu's attention anyways. Still, it just felt right.

Finally she found a door that said "Natsu" on it, well, it looked like it was burned into the door, and opened. There he was, that lazy bastard, sprawled out on his bet with droll running down his chin. She huffed and crossed her arms. "Natsu?" She tried, but he didn't stir. She was about to go over there and slap him awake, but she caught sight of the distinctive tent in his pants, and decided that getting anywhere near him right then would be a bad idea. She sighed and turned around to go snoop in his kitchen. Her eyes sparkled when she saw a bowl of leftover pasta in the fridge. Chuckling evilly to herself, she wiggled her fingers a bit, before she hastily grabbed. She grinned down at it and whispered, "My, you're beautiful." She pulled the plastic wrap off the top, and stuck it in the microwave. She hummed to herself as it heated up, her gaze trailing along the decorations of the house. Her eyes landed on a picture with a young Natsu and a very handsome man. Like, holy hell that man was a DILF. The microwave dinged, and she reluctantly took her gaze away from the sexy man in the picture, and grabbed her food from the microwave. "Ahhh" She sighed happily as the orgasmic smell reached her nose. She rummaged through the drawers, finally finding a fork, and sat down at the table. She grinned at the feast before her. "Hold on tight, lovely. I'm gonna eat you out so hard." She hummed as she greedily at the pasta. It was soo fucking good, she could have just squirted all over the place.

"Really? Fucking really?"

She looked up to see a scowling, shirtless Natsu with her arms crossed as he stood in the threshold of the hallway. "What?"

He glared at her as he stalked forward. "Stop. Eating. My. Food."

She whined when he snatched the bowl away from her. "But I was already halfway done! Give it back! I'm hungry!"

He put it back in the fridge before he turned back to her. "Oh yeah? Then eat someone else's goddamn food!"

"Ugh! Fine! I will. As soon as you get your fucking lazy ass ready, pissant." She huffed as she stood up.

A lightbulb went off in his head as remember why the fuck she was actually there. "Oh yeah!" He grinned and started running towards the stairs, before he stopped midstep and turned to look at her weirdly. "What's a pissant?"

She glared at him and pointed her finger at him, moving it in a small circular motion. "That right right there. That's a pissant."

He huffed and took off towards the stairs, muttering, "what a fucking weirdo."

* * *

"Alright, so it looks like this guy lives alone, which most likely means he has at least coffee on his porch in the mornings." Lucy whispered as she and Natsu crouched behind a set of bushes.

"What if he doesn't?" Natsu asked as he tried to follow the guy's movements through the windows.

"Then we don't get anything, genius."

"That's it? No other tactics?" He frowned, disappointed with the lack of excitement. He really thought that there was more to this.

"What? Do you want me to break into his fucking house? Jesus, dipshit." She puffed her cheeks up in annoyance.

"Hey!" He barked at her. "Watch your mouth, melon tits!" They glared at each other for a substantial amount of time, before movement caught heir eyes.

"There he is." Lucy whispered and grinned, crouching low to the ground in preparation.

"I still don't get what the backpack's for." Natsu muttered as he watched her.

He rolled her eyes, "just fucking watch."

He raised his hands in defense. "Fine. Knock yourself out, sweet cheeks."

She huffed and waited as the guy set his coffee down in the porch railing. She pulled a tumbler out of her backpack, which she let fall to the ground. She unscrewed the cap and put it between her teeth as she slowly crept towards the side of the house, just as the man got a phone call. She leaned up against the wall, and peered around the corner, watching and waiting. Once he finally turned away from his coffee, she quickly ran up to the railing and dumped the coffee in her tumbler. She set it back down gently and went back to lean on the side of the house, screwing the cap on. She heard the familiar, "what the fuck?" and grinned to herself as he ran into his house. She sprinted back towards Natsu and slided to crouch next to him, grinning ear to ear. "Tada!" She held up her tumbler and took a sip. She scrunched up her face and spit it out. "Ew, that's some shitty coffee."

Natsu stared at her dumbfounded, gaping at her like a fish. He was really expecting...well he didn't know what he was expecting...but it definitely was not that. That was he most simple thing he'd ever seen. And to think he used to think this person was a magician. It took Lucy snapping her fingers in front of his face a few times for him to finally snap out of it. He shook his head and muttered to himself, "what the actual fuck."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Natsu slumped into his seat at lunch with a sigh, causing his friends to look at him weirdly.

"Somethin crawl up yer butt?" Gajeel asked before he folded his sandwich, and put the entire thing in his mouth.

"No." Was his tired mumble. Lucy. Lucy crawled up his butt.

"Are you okay?" Lisanna asked gently as she put her hand on his arm.

"I'm fine, just tired." Cuz he couldn't fucking stop thinking about that blonde weirdo. It kept him up all night. His mind thought that it would be a great fucking idea to make a list of all the things he liked about her. He knew he liked her body. Apparently he liked her sassy mouth. He liked that she basically had the same humor as he did, or at least complained the same way he did, and it was funny as hell to him. For some fucked up reason, he liked that she didn't succumb to his advances like all the other girls did. If he didn't know any better, he would assume he had a crush on her. But, he did know better, and he didn't date. Ever. He just needed to fuck her. That had to be it. Then she would stop stealing a place in his brain. The fucking thief.

"Did you ever find you culprit?"

Erza's question snapped him out of his thoughts, and he sighed and rolled his eyes. "No. Fucker's still doin it."

"Gihi. I need to find this guy and pat him on the back." Gajeel grinned at Natsu's misery.

"Oh, look. There's that Lucy girl again." Levy whisper-shouted, and everyone swiveled their heads to see the blonde in the process of sitting down at an empty table. "C'mon, guys. We should talk to her again."

Gajeel snorted and rolled his eyes. "Pretty sure she made it clear that she didn't wanna talk to us."

"Yeah." Gray chided. "Might as well give her her space."

"Well, I for one would like to talk to her." Lisanna pitched in.

Natsu rolled his eyes. "What's the big deal? Say hi if you want, don't if you don't."

"He's right." Erza declared before she shot up from her seat. They all suddenly scrambled after her, because well, Erza was God.

Lucy watched with trepidation as the group came towards her, there was one more among them, and she groan when she caught sight of the small smirk on Natsu's face. "I feel like I've become someone's obsession."

"Huh?" Natsu tilted his head as he sat down.

"Nothing." Lucy grumbled as the rest of his friends sat down. "Do I smell like fresh steak?" Her eyes went wide when Gajeel leaned over and sniffed her.

"No."

"Did you just sniff me?" She blinked.

"You said you smelled like steak." Was his reasoning.

"No." She huffed. "I asked if I did."

"Well, why'd you ask if you didn't want to find out?"

"It was a sarcastic fucking question. Jesus Christ."

"Why though?"

"Because every time I'm here, you all flock towards me!"

"Oi! This is the second time!"

"Still flocking!"

"If I may ask." Erza decided to interrupt the two. "Why do you want to eat alone?"

"Why not?" She retorted, making Erza twitch a bit.

"Can you not be a bitch for a second?" Gray mumbled.

"The fuck?" Lucy reeled back, a little hurt, not that she would admit it.

"Language like that is not tolerated here." Erza reprimanded.

"The fuck?" She repeated. Then, Natsu bursted out laughing, earning everyone to look at him like he was fucking crazy. "Are you high?"

"Nah." His laughs died to chuckled. "So, Lucy." When she blinked at him, he continued. "Wanna hang out later?"

The group rolled their eyes while the girl in question frowned. "Why?"

"Why not?" He retorted. "Besides, I wanna try doing it, and since you're the master, you can be my teacher." He winked at her, and she promptly started laughing.

"Y-you wanna try.." She wiped a tear from her eye, then she sighed. "You would suck at it." To which he pouted.

"What are you guys talking about. What do you wanna try, Natsu?" Lisanna crossed her arms, clearly not pleased.

"Please?" Natsu pleaded with puppydog eyes, ignoring Lisanna completely.

"Ugh." Lucy groaned and ran a hand down her face. "Fine."

"Yess!" He grinned and pumped a fist in the air in victory.

"I'll be over at you house before dinner time. Be ready." She pointed an accusing finger at him, to which he curtly nodded.

"Excuse me for interrupting." Lisanna grumbled as she hooked her arm around Natsu's, pulling him a little. "But do you mind telling us what's going on?"

"Huh?" Natsu tilted his head in confusion, and then he grinned. "Oh, right! Lucy, this is Lisanna. She wasn't here the other day."

"Hi." Lucy blandly greeted.

She completely ignored the blonde's greeting. "No, Natsu. What are you guys going to do later? I was hoping we could go on another date."

"Lisanna." Natsu sighed. "We've been over this. There were no dates, and there's not gonna be any."

"Then what are you guys gonna do?"

Lucy raised an eyebrow at this girl, she was irritating. "It's really none of your business, so stick your nose somewhere else."

"Oi!" Gray scowled at her. "Dont fucking talk to her like that."

Lucy returned his scowl. "Well, don't fucking talk to me like that, asshole."

"What the fuck is your problem?" Gajeel repeated his question from the last time this happened.

"You are." Lucy calmly replied as she stood up and quickly made her way out of the cafeteria.

"Why is she such a bitch? And why do we have to keep talking to her?" Gray grumbled as he crossed his arms. Levy just frowned as she stared in the direction the girl went.

Lisanna put on a sad expression and pulled on Natsu's sleeve. "Natsu, she's really mean to me. Are you really gonna hang out with her?"

Natsu furrowed his brows as he stared at Lisanna. "Her clothes were dirty." Her mouth dropped open in confusion and annoyance that he, once again, ignored her question.

"Why the fuck does that matter?" Gajeel asked, truely flabbergasted.

Natsu just shrugged as he stood up. "It doesn't."

Gray rolled his eyes. "You're such a moron."

"Yeah, and you're a dick." He retorted.

Gray shrugged as they all stood up to go to class. "Yeah. I am."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Okay, this one looks promising." Lucy said as she and Natsu crouched behind a few bushes, once again.

"How does this look promising?" Natsu raised an eyebrow. "The guy looks like he's about to fall asleep."

"Exactly." She huffed. "He's clearly tired and out of it, plus, use your eyes, dipshit, he didn't bring anything to drink out with him. He only brought food."

"Why the fuck does that matter?" He grumbled.

Lucy sighed dramatically. "Because! He's probably going to go back and get his drink, which presents you with the window of fucking opportunity."

"Oh, shit." He blinked while Lucy rolled her eyes. "Makes sense."

"You should know that. It's what I always did to you."

He slowly narrowed his eyes at her. "Ohh yeahh…"

"Look, look!" She shook his shoulder and pointed to the man on the porch. "He's going back to get his drink. C'mon, now's your chance!" She shoved her backpack into his hands.

"The hell's this for?" he raised an eyebrow at her as he held up the bag.

She huffed. "You dump the food in there, then run like hell."

"Eww! Seriously?!" He face twisted into one of disgust.

"No! Eww! I don't eat it out of the bag." She stuck her tongue out at the idea. "Look, there's a ziplock bag pinned on the inside. Completely clean."

He opened the bag, and sure enough, a very clean ziplock bag was inside. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hurry, stupid!" She shoved his shoulders, making him almost fall. "He might come back out soon!"

"Alright, alright! Sheesh!" He huffed as he walked out from behind the bushes. He quietly ran up to the side of the house, just like he'd seen her do. He peered around the corner, and he saw the plate of spaghetti sitting there unattended. "Oooh, you beautiful bitch." He whispered. He started tiptoeing towards it, his fingers twitching, and sweat starting to build on his brow. His heart was thundering in his chest, and he almost shouted in triumph when he grabbed ahold of the plate. He grinned evilly, "I promise your virginity will be taken swiftly." A dark chuckle followed his whispered statement as he slid the plate's contents into the bag.

Suddenly, a loud noise came from inside the house, and his whole being froze. A slightly girly shriek left his lips, as he scrambled to put the plate back down. Once it was finally back on the table, he immediately started running back to the bushes, eyes wide and full of fear. He jumped behind the bushes, and once he was next to Lucy again, he collapsed on the ground, arms spread wide. "I almost fucking died!"

"Shh!" Lucy shushed him, grinning like an idiot, before she whispered, "this is the best part." When he gave her a confused look, she pointed to the porch, and they both peaked over the bushes.

"Uhh...honey?!" The man who just came back outside, yelled into the house.

"Yes, dear?" A woman's voice echoed from the house.

"Where's my food?"

"You ate it, dear!"

The man scratched his head as he looked at the plate. "Oh." His face fell. "I guess I did."

Lucy put her hand over her mouth to try and silence her laughter, and she put her other hand over Natsu's mouth when the first laugh escaped his lips. When the man went back inside, she released his mouth, and said through her laughter. "C-come on..w-we..l-lets go!" When he just kept laughing, she tried to shove his shoulder, but she ended up on the ground since she was still laughing herself.

Natsu grabbed her shoulder, and hauled her up to her feet. "Come on!" He laughed, and she held onto him for support as he started dragging her back into the woods. Once they were far enough into the woods, he finally let their bodies fall to the ground, him going down first, and dragging her down to land in top of him. She shrieked and he grinned, rolling them over so he was the one on top. Her laughter died in her throat, and she stared wide eyed at him. "I've got adrenaline pumping through my veins, it'd be a shame to waste it." He said huskily as his hands slid up her waist.

Much to her relief, and his annoyance, her stomach chose that moment to growl. She smirked and put her hand over his face, pushing him off her as she sat up. "Maybe. But I'm starving."

He rolled his eyes as he sat on his butt, and handed her the backpack. "Dig in, sweet cheeks."

She greedily grabbed the backpack, and practically salivated as she stared at its contents. "Ohh, you beautiful bitch, you." She pulled out the ziplock bag, and held it up. She giggled as she wiggled it in her fingers. "Kinda feels like someone's intestines."

He grinned and raised an eyebrow as he scooted to sit in front of her. "You're kinda twisted, ya know that?"

She hummed as she reach in and pulled out a meatball. "Ya know, I noticed something while I was observing you." She popped the meatball in her mouth, and moaned, tilting her head back.

His mouth went dry at the sight, and he raised an eyebrow as he grabbed a noodle from the bag. "You say observing, but it was more like stalking if you ask me."

She smirked as she licked some sauce off her lips. "Well, I didn't ask you."

He chuckled as he sucked the noodle into his mouth. "So, what did you notice?"

She licked some sauce off of her fingers. "That we're alot alike."

"Oh yeah?" He grinned as he raised a noodle up to drop into his mouth. "Do tell."

She smirked while she sucked up a noodle, licking her lips in a circular motion as she cleaned her lips of the sauce. "For starters, our mothers are either dead, or not around."

He raised an eyebrow, his smirk dropping. "Correct. Continue."

"Our fathers are basically absent in our lives."

"Mostly correct."

She chuckled as she swirled a noodle around her finger. "We're both spoiled rich brats."

He chuckled with her before he grabbed her hand and sucked the noodle from her finger. Her eyes studied his tongue's movement, swallowing thickly. "Wouldn't peg you for a rich girl, but correct."

Her voice dropped as he stared at her. "We're both afraid of commitment."

He smirked, and his eyes gleamed. "That's where you're wrong." She tilted her head, and he twirled her hair with his finger. "I ain't scared of it, just don't want it."

She blinked. "I see."

He sat back, and grabbed the bag from her hands. "So, tell me something."

"What's that?" She hummed as she grabbed another noodle.

"What made you start doing this in the first place?" He held up the back to utilize his point.

She gave him a pointed look, and said slowly. "I was hungry."

He cocked his head to the side. "But you said you were rich?"

"Emphasis on were." She grumbled as she stood up, snatching the bag out of his hands. "I'm going home."

"W-wait!" He shouted as he scrambled to get up. He then grinned mischievously. "Come by my house same time tomorrow. I know the perfect person to get food from."

She raised an eyebrow. "Alright, loverboy. See you then."

"See ya." He grinned as he waved. He watched her disappear, before he started following her. He kept his steps quiet, and his presence unknown.

After about fifteen minutes of following her, he found himself in the woods by his own house. Suspicion racked his brain as she entered a secluded area where a small shroud of trees and bushes encased it. He silently crept forward and slowly moved a few branches to the side. "I knew it." He breathed as he watched her enter a small tent. "She's homeless."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Natsu sighed for the umpteenth time as he slouched on the table in the lunchroom.

"Seriously, Natsu." Lisanna groaned. "You've been so distant lately. I miss you. Can't we just hang out today?"

"You have been acting a bit weird, Natsu." Levy chimed.

He supposed he had been acting a little off the past few days. He only had one person to blame, really. Fucking Lucy. Fucking homeless Lucy. She hadn't been to the cafeteria the last few days either, and she hadn't shown up at his house. He could have just invaded her tent, but he didn't really want to for some reason. It was driving fucking insane. He wanted to help her, but he thought it was kinda funny at the same time. It completely explained her amazing ability at stealing people's food. It also explained why she always targeted him, since she set up her tent so close to his house. He wanted to do something, but he didn't know what. He didn't know why he even cared, and it fucking sucked. A smack on the back of his head pulled him from his thoughts, and he glared over at the perpetrator. "The fuck, Gray?"

"You keep zoning out, you idiot." Gray grumbled.

"Sorry, geeze." Natsu muttered as he rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, Lis. We can hang out today if you want."

Lisanna beamed. "Great! There's this new store that opened up last week and I've been dying to go! You could use some new clothes too."

He shrugged. "You know I'm not really one for shopping, but whatever." Why the fucking hell couldn't she go with her girl friends?

"Aw, c'mon Natsu. It'll be fun!"

* * *

Not fun, never fun. Shopping always sucked. He usually didn't mind when he was with Lis, but Jesus fucking Christ, she went through every goddamn article of clothing that damn store had. Who goddamn cares if you can't decide between a shirt that's white, and the same fucking shirt in beige?! Fucking eeny, meeny, miny, moe that bitch and be done with it! He sighed as he closed his car door, a bag of clothes in his hand that he really didn't care if he had or not. As he was walking up his porch, his eyes drifted to the forest. If anyone needed to go shopping, it would be the blonde one. Ripping his eyes away, he entered his home. Tossing the bag on the floor, he slumped down on the couch.

He sat there for a while, wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. He couldn't stop fucking thinking about her! What the hell has she been doing anyways? The clock on the wall ticked in the silent house. His eyes watching the hand tick away. "Goddamnit." He muttered as he pushed up from the couch, and started marching to the front door. He slammed it closed and made his way to the forest. It was almost dark out, so he hoped she was there and not in the process of stealing some poor soul's dinner. He realized that he felt uneasy about her being out there alone at night. She was a fucking hot girl, and she didn't have a door to lock, and he knew she didn't have a phone. If she got into trouble, she would have no way of asking for any help.

With a grunt, he shoved away the branches that enclosed her camping site, and there she was, mouth hanging open at seeing him, a few noodles falling from her mouth. "What the fuck are you doing here, stalker?!"

He crossed his arms as she stood up. "How the hell am I the stalker, when you're the one who watched my every move for days, just to vacuum up my food into your gaping mouth hole!"

She mimicked his stance. "Excuse me for being hungry, you rich as piss, dick!"

He couldn't help the laughter that exploded from his lips. The way that last phrase sounded was just too funny. Goddamnit, all his grumpiness was leaving him. He realized that he missed this, he missed her. "Calm down, weirdo. I came to offer you a deal."

She glared as her eyebrow rose. "A deal? What? With the devil?"

"Possibly." He chuckled as he uncrossed his arms and started walking around her tiny clearing, looking at her small collection of possessions, which wasn't much. "Even though you do have a pretty sweet deal, living here and all…" He turned to face her. "My house is always empty. You need a house. Why don't you bunk there for a while?"

Her jaw dropped as she stared at him. "Have you finally gone insane?"

He shrugged. "Why not? I'll admit, it gets a little lonely there. Wouldn't mind seeing a blonde bombshell walking around in her unmentionables from time to time."

She rolled her eyes. "Not interested, loverboy. Go cart your penis parade somewhere else."

He grinned at her. Her mouth was worse than his, and he loved it. "Aw, c'mon princess. You can eat all the food you want!"

She froze, her eyes calculating him up and down. "…All of it?"

"Well shit, leave some for me, but yeah. As much as you want." He grumbled as he stuck his hand out towards her. "Deal?"

Her eyes narrowed at him for a few minute, before she sighed. "Damnit, fine!"

He grinned as they shook on it. "Well then. Let's get you all packed up, goldie locks!"

"Could you be more original, tittie tweaker?"

"You're one to talk!"

* * *

It shockingly only took ten minutes to get all her things into his house. She only had one bag of possessions, her backpack full of food, and a blanket and pillow. Could she be any more fucking depressing? "This'll be your room." He said as he swung open the door to the room opposite his. "Unless you wanna room with me."

"Not even if it was your death bed." She muttered as she threw her stuff on the floor.

"Good to know." He chuckled. "I'm gonna take a shower. Enjoy yourself."

She grinned as he shut the door. "Oh I will." She waited a few moments before she slipped out of the room. She knew she was technically living there, but sneaking around just seemed like the right thing to do. Very stealthily, she made her way to kitchen, her most favorite place in the world. Eagerly throwing open the fridge, she salivated at all the glorious choices before her. She took out some pasta, some chicken, something that looked like rice, and popped them all in the microwaved. She did a little victory dance as she waited for the beep of the microwave. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she opened the microwave to the orgasmic smells. It didn't take long for her to devour all of it. No grain of rice was saved in the massacre of food that day. As she was humming at the flavor of the last bite on her tongue, she nearly choked when Natsu shouted from the doorway.

"Seriously?! How much do you fucking eat?!"

* * *

 **I know im a piece of shit for taking so long to update. This was my venting story at first, then my writer's block story, but that changed when it started becoming an actual story, so now im like fuuuck, but i mean its fun to write, ill get with it i promise. I know you guys dont like that the chapters are so short, but i do. It just works with a story like this. Plus, easier for me :} I love you guys, you know i dooo, and i shall sing a song for youuu!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Is this really fucking necessary?" Lucy grumbled as she stood outside a clothing store with Natsu.

Natsu crossed his arms. "You're staying in my house, so you can't look like a fucking homeless piece of shit. I have a reputation to uphold."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You're saying that you're proud of being a slut?"

He tilted his head. "How the hell am I a slut if I'm a guy?"

She rolled her eyes. "Because you put your wonder-shaft into anything that has legs with a vacuum hole in the middle."

"Well I haven't peached your fucking pie." He huffed.

"Not for lack of trying." She mumbled as she looked in the store window. "Seriously, this is stupid, I'm leaving."

Natsu caught her arm as she tried to leave. "Oh no you don't, sweet cheeks." He pushed her towards the doors. "Unless you wanna walk around in your underwear all day, you're going to buy clothes that don't scream 'I'm a hopeless cause, please kill me'."

She sighed as she opened the door. "You're fucking ridiculous."

He grinned. "You say ridiculous; I say ride my dick a lot."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "It scares me that I completely understood you."

He laughed as they approached a rack of women's shirts. "Okay. Shop."

"You're not really gonna make me do this shit alone, are you?"

Natsu was a little taken back. He hated shopping, especially with Lis. It was a different experience entirely having to force a girl to shop. "Well, what the hell do you want me to do? Model them for you?" He immediately regretted saying that, when a dark grin spread across her lips. "Uh uh, no way! I'll kick your ass back outside if you even try."

She sighed dramatically. "Fine, you fucking limp dick. Sap the tiny amount of fun right out of the pee hole of this big dick."

Natsu busted out laughing. "H-hold on, now!" He rested his elbow on the rack as he got his laughter under control. "There's still fun to be had."

"Oh yeah?" She crossed her arms and leaned her weight on her right leg. "And what fun would that be?"

He leaned towards her with a sexy smirk. "You are gonna model for me."

She rolled her eyes. "Try again."

"What? You don't think your pretty enough?" He then grinned as he leaned back. "Oh I get it. You're a virgin, so you'd be uncomfortable."

She glared at him. "Fuck you, I'll model some damn clothes. But I get to choose some clothes for you to model, too!"

He sighed. "Alright, fine. Then I get to choose your clothes." He stuck out his hand. "Deal?" She grumbled something unintelligible as she shook his hand. He grinned. "Alright! Now, go wait in the changing room, and I'll bring you some clothes. No matter what, you have to try them all on, and come out and pose."

She sighed as she turned to stomp over to the changing rooms. "I'm so gonna regret this."

She sat in the changing room for about ten minutes, before Natsu opened the curtain, grinning. "Put these on. I'll be waiting." He shoved the clothes in her hands, and winked before he walked out.

She sighed and closed the curtain behind him, then took a look at the clothes in her hands. Her eyes bugged out of her head. "He's so fucking dead."

Natsu drummed his fingers on his knee as he waited for her to get changed. Why did women always have to take for fucking ever to change? How hard was it to slip some fabric over your skin? He supposed it could be their boobs. He grinned as a mental image of Lucy failing to get the top over her boobs. She did have massive tits. When the curtain opened, his jaw went slack and blood rushed right to his dick. Yeah…massive.

She stepped out and struck her pose. She stood on the balls of her feet, cocking one hip to the side, while her arms raised to rest on the top of her head. His eyes drank in the sight of her, starting from her bare feet, up her slender legs, honing in on the apex of the red lace thong. He licked his lips before his eyes moved on to her curvy hips and narrow waist that lay just underneath the see through fabric of the matching red top. He practically salivated when he got to her tits. The rise of the fabric indicated a mouthwatering set of perky nipples underneath. When his gaze connected to her seductive eyes, he knew she could see the lust he was feeling.

"So, what do you think?" She practically purred. "Do I still look like a virgin?"

Natsu pinched his eyebrows together and stood up. He walked towards her, and studied her face closely. She eyed him warily, wondering what in the actual fuck he was doing. After a minute, he hummed. "Something's missing."

"Huh?"She had an idea of a few things that were fucking missing, but she was dumbstruck as to what the fuck he could possibly be talking about.

"Mhm." He hooked his finger under the bow tying her boobs together, and pulled slightly. "Come here."

Her head stayed in place, until it was forced to go with her body as he pulled her back into the changing room. When he closed the curtain, she pursed her lips. "Can't believe you think something's actually missing from this. Figured you'd want more gone."

He smirked as he backed her into the wall. Her eyes went wide as he took her wrists and pinned them above her head. "Oh, there's a lot missing." He whispered right before he tilted his head and sealed his lips over hers.

Lucy's mind was reeling as her eyes stayed wide. He was a disgusting playboy, right? She shouldn't be enjoying this, right? _Oh, fuck me._ Her eyes slid close and a moan left her lips as they parted for his tongue to sweep inside. She shivered when their tongues connected, and tingles went down her spine when one of his hands swept down her side. He released her hands, and she arched into him as his hands slid down her body to grasp her round cheeks. She threw her head back with a moan when he squeezed, and she raked her fingernails across his scalp. He groaned and kissed his way down her jaw, biting and nipping the skin. Her leg lifted to slid up the outside of his leg, and his hands began kneading her supple flesh. He licked and bit a path up to her ear, and he bit her lobe, rolling it with his tongue as his hot breath fanned over her ear. She shivered and let out another moan as his husky whisper registered in her brain. "This is what it was missing."

She took a deep breath and gathered her senses to push him away. She was panting slightly, but he seemed to have his breath, the only affect that could be seen were his half lidded eyes. "That's it." She smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles in the lingerie. "I'm trying regular damn clothes. Deal's off."

He grinned as he watched her walk out into the store in the lingerie, his eyes honed in on her round ass cheeks as she walked. "Oh no, my dear. It's definitely fucking on." A hum vibrated in his throat as he followed her. He chuckled quietly to himself. "Sweetest damn cheeks I've ever fucking seen."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Natsu realized, very belatedly, that he had failed to think through having Lucy stay at his house. He completely failed to tell his dick that it would constantly be alert, but it would never find what it was looking for. Not for lack of trying on his end though, he was his dick's wing-man after all. He'd thought about bringing some random girl back and get some much needed action, but it didn't feel right with the blonde being there. It had been two days, and he'd been trying to get in her pants. It hadn't worked, but not because she refused him, because something else always happened. It was frustrating. He couldn't tell if she wanted to or not. His biggest cock block by far had been her stomach. The chick was always hungry. Always fucking hungry, and he realized he might actually have to buy a bigger fridge.

Which led him to what he was trying to do now. He was beyond sexually frustrated, and he was going to get his way by using the one thing that's been getting in his way: food.

She was leaning against his kitchen counter, stirring a pot as she melted chocolate…with a plate full of bacon sitting beside her. A few times he wondered if she was pregnant, because her food choices were bizarre sometimes. He actually made her take the pee test, and he was completely dumbfounded when it came back negative. Maybe she was the world's contradiction, and she will never be hungry when she does get pregnant. Shaking his head, he stepped up behind her and cage her with his arms. He smirked when she looked back and blinked at him. He'd be damned if he let anything else get in his way.

"Watcha doin'?" She hummed as she looked back at the melting chocolate.

"I smelled something delicious." He leaned his head down and ran his nose along the column of her throat, making sure she could hear when he sniffed her skin.

She giggled and shivered at the same time. "Smooth."

He smirked against her neck, and let his tongue lightly glide across her skin, reviling in the way her breath hitched. "You can't blame me for wanting to taste something that smells so good."

She let out a shaky breath when his hands firmly planted themselves on her hips, and she instinctively rolled her ass against his very prominent bulge. "No, can't blame you for that." She smirked when he pressed himself against her. "You have to be careful though. It might smell delicious, but it could taste like shit."

He chuckled and turned her around to face him, making her arch her back around the counter. "Well, let's see." He reached behind her, and stuck his middle finger into the pot of melting chocolate, the heat not bothering him in the slightest. He held it close to her lips, the chocolate dripping slightly. "Here's something that looks like shit. Why don't you tell me how it tastes?"

She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her, despite how turned on and hungry she was. He'd been driving her vagina crazy lately, so it was about time for a little revenge. She reached up and grabbed his hand. Leaning forward, she ran her tongue along the base of his finger, going up the trail of chocolate. She looked into his hooded eyes, and hummed when she pulled his entire finger into her mouth.

"Fuck." He breathed out, and he leaned his forehead against hers as he moved his middle finger in and out of her mouth, his mind picturing his finger as a different part of the male anatomy. God, she was so fucking sexy. The way her eyes kept his intense gaze, the way her cheeks hollowed every time he move his finger, and the light tinge of pink across her cheeks. There was a glint in her eyes though, one that he knew well, and one that made him realize she was far from innocent or timid.

She let his finger go with a pop, and she ran her tongue along her upper lip as she tilted her head up, letting her lips barely brush against his. "Delicious." She whispered sensually, and her eyes gleamed when she saw the affect it had on him. He quite clearly snapped when his lips suddenly crashed against hers. She moaned and instantly let his tongue enter her mouth, arching as his hands pushed her hips more forcefully against him. Her hands latched onto his hair, and she dragged her fingernails across his scalp. She was rewarded with a low growl from his chest, a sound that she felt rumble into her own chest, spiking her arousal even more. Her head fell back, and he trailing open mouthed kisses down her neck as his hands moved to grasp underneath her ass. He squeezed and kneaded the flesh, and she could feel her lips opening and closing at his ministrations. She need more, much more. She grabbed his hair, and pulled his head up to look at her. "Fuck me."

"Don't need to tell me twice." He growled as he completely ripped her shirt apart, revealing the most mouthwatering set of tits he'd ever seen in his life.

"Fuck me." She moaned, only subconsciously poking at what he said.

"Not funny." He growled as he immediately latched his mouth onto a perky nipple, swirling his tongue around it as he sucked on it hard.

She moaned long and low. "Kinda funny…Oh, fuck!"

"Why don't you stop trying to be funny…" He grunted as he rubbed his hard dick against the damp spot of her shorts. "…and put that mouth to good use."

"While my mouth is always useful, no matter what it does…" She moaned as his hand slipped under her shorts, and rubbed against her slit. "I'd much rather you put your dick inside me."

Conversation ended after that. They couldn't get their clothes off fast enough. Natsu didn't let his lips leave her amazing tits as he lifted her and put her on the kitchen table. He wanted to feast on her, make her mewl and purr in pleasure, but he was dying to be inside her right then. So, he angled his throbbing dick up to her entrance, and kissed her hard as he surged forward, finally sinking into her. He nearly lost it right then. Her walls were unbelievably tight and they seemed to suck him in further, even though he was fully sheathed inside. A cry of his name ripped from her lips, and it sent tingles down his spine as her nails clawed into his shoulder. He stayed still for a moment, not only for her to get used to his size, but for him to not blow on the first thrust.

Once she arched her back, begging for more, he complied and pulled himself out, then thrust back into her harshly. He barely gave her any time to breath as he set a rough pace, his hands squeezing and groping erogenous zones of her body, while he licked and sucked at any spot his neck could reach. He was surprised at how well she was keeping up with him. Most girls would lay there and just let him work his magic, but she was giving everything back to him. She met his thrusts with momentum from her heels on the edge of the table, and she arched her back to roll her body against his. Her hands scratched and groped everywhere she could reach on his body. The sounds she made were so orgasmic, that he was struggling not to explode. The groaning of the wood beneath them barely registered in his ears through their heavy panting and moans of utter bliss. He didn't stop, no matter how much he wanted to explode, he continued to pound into her, the force at which his hips would hit her being almost painful.

Just as he though he wouldn't be able to take anymore, something torturous and magical happened. Her back bent backwards, his name ripped from her throat as her walls pulsated around him; and warm, wet liquid exploded around his cock. At the same damn time, her hand reached around herself to take hold of his balls in her hand, and he went into overload. "Holy fucking shit!" He shouted as he erupted inside of her, the force of his orgasm almost making him fall to his knees. He had to brace his arms on the table in order to not fall on top of her.

As he came down from his high, he opened his eyes to stare at the woman in amazement. Never had sex ever felt that good, and holy shit he could already tell he was addicted. His breathing was ragged, matching her own, and his dick twitched as he looked at the girl underneath him. Her golden hair was splayed around her, her skin shining with sweat, her face red, and her eyes sedated in ecstasy.

"Damn." She breathed out as she looked up at him, and he couldn't agree more. A delicious moan emerged from her as his dick grew back to life inside of her. "Can you really go again?" She asked in amazement and desire in her voice.

He leaned down and rasped in her ear. "I said you smelled delicious, didn't I?" He ran his hands down her sides, shivering when she arched into him. He licked the shell of her ear. "And I'm fucking starving."

"Holy fucking hell!"

They both snapped their head to the side at the intruding voice, and they saw all of Natsu's friends standing there in his kitchen. Gajeel was grinning lecherously, Levy had her hands over her face, Erza was blushing profusely, Gray was wide-eyed, and Lisanna looked like she was about to cry.

"How fucking long have you guys been there?!" Natsu shouted, not even attempting to move.

"Mmmm, long enough." Gajeel chuckled.

"Don't suppose anyone thought to film us, did they?" Lucy asked, causing everyone to look at her with mixed emotions. "Because, if it looked as good as it felt, then we could be millionaires."

All of Natsu's friends stared at her in complete shock, besides Natsu, who busted out laughing. He agreed whole-heartedly.

* * *

 **About damn time, I should say.**

 **By the way, Bacon dipped in chocolate is the most amazing thing on this planet. Seriously, everyone needs to try it, it will give your mind a freaking blowjob.**

 **I love you guys! Muah!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"So uh…" Natsu covered Lucy's boobs with his hands as him and his friends kept staring at each other. "Could you like, oh I don't know, turn a fucking round, or something."

Erza, Levy, and Lisanna squeaked as they quickly turned around, but Gajeel and Gray grumbled as they forced themselves to also turn around. He looked down to see Lucy looking at him in amusement, and he smirked at her. He pulled himself out of her, and quickly thrust back in, making her have to suppress a moan, before he finally pulled himself all the way out. He chuckled when she swatted his arm as she stood up, and they looked around for their clothes.

"Gimme your shirt." Lucy demanded, holding up her torn one to show him why she needed it.

He smirked at her, and was about to tell her that she looked better without a shirt, but he realized his friends were still there. He sighed and handed her his shirt. "What are you guys doing here, anyways?" Clear annoyance in his voice.

Lisanna bounded up to him and hugged him. "You wouldn't answer my calls, and you've been acting weird. We thought something was wrong, that maybe you were in trouble."

He sighed and patted her head, glaring at Lucy as she smirked at him with humor in her eyes. "I'm fine."

"More than fine, if ya ask me." Gajeel smirked as leaned on the counter next to Lucy. "You've got a serious rack."

She raised her eyebrow at him, before she turned around to finish making her bacon. "Thanks, I appreciate that."

"Well damn, are you really letting her cook in your kitchen?" Gray asked as he watched Lucy dip bacon into chocolate. "Usually you kick 'em out by now."

Natsu shrugged as he peeled Lisanna off of him. "Well, she kinda lives here, so she can use whatever she wants."

They all made choking sounds, and Lucy turned around with her plate of bacon. She pulled herself onto the counter to watch the show unfold before her.

"She what?!"

Natsu flinched at their unanimous shout, and glared at them. "You heard me, so stop fucking yelling."

"Explain, Natsu." Erza levelled him with a commanding glare, one that made him feel like he was about to die.

"I found her living in the forest by the house, and invited her to stay here. I mean, she could get raped or killed or somethin' staying out there alone. Besides, I'm alone here all the time, I've got plenty of room." He quickly explained.

Lucy stopped mid-chew when all of their gazed fell on her. They were calculating her, looking her up and down, and she willed herself not to straighten out her hair. After a minute, she swallowed and looked at Natsu. "So, uh. You gonna take me to the drug store? You totally didn't wrap it ya know."

Natsu paled. "Ah, shit. Does that mean you're pregnant?"

"Nah." She crunched another piece of bacon. "I just need the morning after pill. I'm surprised this house doesn't have condoms in every drawer though."

Gajeel and Gray started laughing. "For real. I'm still surprised you don't have an STD."

"Do you?" Lucy asked him, genuinely a little concerned.

"Fuck no!" He glared at them all. "I get tested. I'm a clean canon."

"Oh thank god." Lucy breathed out, almost choking on a piece of bacon.

"I'll be taking Lucy to the store." Erza stated.

"We'll come to!" Levy chimed as she grabbed Lisanna's arm.

Lucy looked at them, Lisanna looked like she didn't want to go either with the way she was looking at Natsu. Ah fuck, this was that girl time, boy time bullshit she's heard about. "No offense, but I'd rather just go with Natsu."

Erza narrowed her eyes at her, causing her to swallow thickly. "You're coming with us."

"Fine." Lucy sighed as she slipped of the counter. She walked up to Natsu and held her hand out.

"What?" He smirked at her. She looked damn good in his shirt. His dick really wanted to go again. "I can't just detach my dick. I have to go with it."

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "That's too bad. Your dick is a lot prettier than you."

"Same to you, sweet cheeks." He winked and reached into his pocket.

"What size, penal code?" She stuffed the money into her pocket.

"It's been inside you, so it shouldn't be too hard to figure out."

"Help a girl out, why don't you?" She sighed, and she bent down to put on her shoes. When she stood back up, she noticed everyone was looking at both her and Natsu with bewildered looks on their faces. She side-glanced Natsu, and he did the same, before she looked back at everyone. "The hell's up your butts?"

Everyone seemed to shake their heads, before Erza walked up and grabbed Lucy's arm. "Let's go."

Lucy sighed and ripped her arm from the redhead's grip. She looked behind her at Natsu. "I guess I'll be back if I'm not dead."

Natsu laughed. "I won't count on it." He knew how much she hated shopping.

* * *

"Tell me. What are your intentions with Natsu?"

Lucy looked up at Erza from where she was trying to decide between the morning after pill and the plan B pill. "Intentions?" Was she his father or something?

"Do you like him?" Lisanna crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you just using him for his money?"

Lucy sighed as she put both of them in her basket. This girl really didn't like her. "I don't fucking know my intension." She moved on to the condoms. "He just offered to let me stay at his house. How could I fucking refuse that? I've been homeless for years, and my god a bed is the best thing on the planet. I don't care about his damn money. In fact, I fucking hate money. It turns people into egotistical assholes who think they're entitled to everything." She held up a box of Trojans and a box of Magnums. "Which one do you think is better?"

Levy and Lisanna both blushed, but Erza instantly answered her. "Trojans."

Lucy did a double take on Erza, before she put the Trojans in the basket. "I'm just gonna get the large ones."

"So, do you like him, Lucy?" Levy asked as they started looking at tampons. "He seems to like you."

"What?" Lisanna asked shocked. "What makes you think that?"

"I agree." Erza said as she warily picked up something called the Diva Cup. "He never sleeps with the same girl twice, and he never lets anyone stay at his house. He lets you use his kitchen, wear his clothes, and take his money. Plus, the way he looks at you is different. I saw you two bantering earlier, it was obvious he was enjoying it."

"It was kinda creepy actually." Levy mumbled as she looked at the thing Erza was studying. "It's almost like you're the same person."

Lucy put a pack of regular U's in her basket, then she too looked at whatever the hell Erza was holding. "Well, that was actually the first time we've fucked." She raised an amused eyebrow when they all blushed. "But it's pretty obvious that it's gonna happen again."

"So?" Lisanna grumbled as she looked at the floor. "Do you like him?"

Lucy tore her eyes away from the barbaric thing, and looked at Lisanna. "Do you?"

Lisanna looked at her in shock, before a scowl appeared on her lips. Erza and Levy suddenly got more enraptured by the thing they were looking at. "Yes. And I've been trying for years to get him to notice me. He always says he doesn't want to see the girls he sleeps with again and he wouldn't want to do that to me. He says I'm his best friend, but I know there's more there. I know he's just scared of commitment, and I've been breaking him from that. So, don't just think you can come in and stomp all over my hard work."

"Are you stupid?" Lucy was completely flabbergasted. This girl was completely delusional.

"Excuse me?!" Lisanna spat. Erza and Levy put down the thing to actually listen now.

"Natsu isn't afraid of commitment." Lucy decided to try and bring this girl into reality. "He just doesn't want it, or at least, he hasn't found someone he wants to be in a relationship with yet. And he just doesn't like you that way. He's actually a pretty nice guy, so he doesn't want to hurt you by telling you that he doesn't like you that way. You being his best friend lets him have someone as a constant in his life. His dad's barely there, and his mom's either dead or not there. So, you can't blame him for wanting to keep at least one person in a place where they can't just up and leave. If he liked you in a romantic way, he would have told you already. He's the kind of guy that takes what he wants, and he clearly doesn't want you that way. So stop trying to change the way he thinks about you, his mind is obviously set. Just be happy that you can be someone he trusts and relies on. That's an important person to be ya know." She ignored their looks of astonishment as she finished. She supposed they didn't think she understood anything about him. But, it takes someone like him to know him, without really getting to know him.

When they just continued to stare at her, she rolled her eyes. With a huff, she turned and decided to go to the grocery isle. Chocolate covered pretzels sounded really fucking good right then.

* * *

 **Another chapter? The fuck?**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!" Natsu moaned as he held onto to Lucy's golden hair for dear life. She looked up at him with amusement in her eyes. She winked at him, as she pushed his dick further into her mouth, letting her tongue hang out to swirl around each of his balls. "Fuck!" He silently thanked any god in the universe for giving such a beautiful woman such a talented fucking mouth

He had figured out rather quickly that this girl would try to devour anything that had chocolate on it. So, come his genius idea of today, he drizzled some chocolate on his dick, leading him to where he was now, almost begging for fucking mercy. "Jesus! How the-oh, holy shit!" She swallowed his cock deeper down her throat, letting her muscles continue the action of swallowing at the same time as her hands came to play with his balls, her thumbs trailing over his taint, giving him tingles he didn't even know he enjoyed.

"Oh, fuck my asshole!" She stilled at his absentminded words, and he quickly shook his head. "Not literally." She chuckled, the vibration sending him into a frenzy, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer; even though he never wanted this to end. She continued to hum around him, and when her nose hit his pelvis, he was a goner. "Shit, Lucy!" He groaned and tilted his head back as she swallowed everything he had to offer. Panting, he swept his fingers through her hair as he watched her sit back. "You're a fucking unicorn."

Her eyebrows scrunched as she giggled. She crawled over his body, letting her center hover over his already hardening dick. His hands easily slid up her legs to settle at her waist, and she smirked as she lightly bit his lower lip. "How do you figure that? I don't really like corn."

He chuckled darkly and bit her upper lip while she continued to latch onto his lower one. "Because you're unique." They both released each other's lips, and he trailed his teeth down her neck, shivering when she arched and moaned. "And you make me horny."

She put her hand on his chest to stop his movements, and she looked at him in disbelief. "Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Dead fucking serious." He chuckled as he wrapped both arms around her waist, preventing her from pulling away. "And, when you find something so rare, you have make sure…" He suddenly thrust up into her, causing him to hiss and her to let out a cry of his name. "…to never let it go."

Her heart thundered at his words, whether from fear or excitement, she wasn't sure. They were words that surrounded the idea of commitment. He'd already told her how he felt about commitment, but maybe he forgot that _she_ was the one who was afraid. "You can't-oh, fuck! You can't cage rare creatures." She intentionally dug her fingernails into his shoulder when he hit almost too deep inside of her, but it only made him growl and go deeper. "They'll freak out and shit everywhere."

His chuckle sounded through his chest as he roughly palmed her bouncing tits. "Nobody said anything about a cage." He leaned up and took a nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before he bit down on it. Her walls rippled around him, and she cried out, arching as she reached around herself to grab his balls. "Fuck!" He growled, pulling her close to him as he roughly thrust one last time into her.

Her head dropped to his shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. She shivered slightly as he placed small kisses along her shoulder, he hands rubbing up and down her back. "Fucking condoms, I swear."

He grinned down at her. "Next time, I promise."

She rolled her eyes and rolled to the side. "You fuckin better, or you're gonna pay child support."

A laugh burst from his lips. "Our kid? Nah. Our kid would be so fucking cute; people will be throwing money at it."

Her lips tugged upwards. "Our kid wouldn't be a fucking sideshow."

"Aw, c'mon!" He whined as he dramatically laid his body across hers. "Easiest money to ever be made!"

She laughed and pinched his armpit, making him squeaked and jump off her. "Just sell your fucking sperm. That'd be easy for you."

He scratched his head, stretching as he got off the bed. "If I did that, this whole town would suddenly become infested with salmon-haired little rats running around."

"Oooo." She cooed in awe as she pictured tiny little rodents, children, and cats running around and demolishing cities: everything pink.

He rose an eyebrow when she just stared at the ceiling with a giddy grin on her face. "Are you fucking picturing it?"

She giggled and shrugged, getting up to stretch herself. "Not exactly, but yeah."

"Huh?"

She shook her head, and pulled her clothes back on. "Never mind." She marched up to him as he was about to light up a cigarette. She grabbed it from his mouth and crushed it, then handed it back to him. "So, what are we?"

He glared at her, lighting another one quickly before she could do anything about it. He took a long drag and sighed. "The hell are you talking about."

She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "What is this? Are we fuckbuddies?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious." He muttered as he started putting his shoes on. "You're mine."

"Um, hell no I'm not." She frowned holding his gaze as he just stared at her. "We are not dating."

"Uhuh...so, why'd you even ask, sweet cheeks?" He rolled his eyes as he continued to tie his shoes.

"Because…I don't want you to get the wrong idea." She muttered, then her stomach growled. "I'm hungry."

He smirked. "No shit, let's go get some food somewhere."

"Somewhere expensive?" She grinned hopefully.

He chuckled as he stood up. "Sure, fuckin take your pick, princess."

"Don't call me a princess, I sucked your dick for this meal." She smirked as she turned to go find her shoes.

He watched her ass sway as she walked away, and he shook his head, putting out his cigarette on a nearby ashtray. He swung his jacket over his shoulder as he trailed after her. "Not dating my perfectly hairless ass."

* * *

 **So, this site is currently not letting anyone upload files. It's slightly frustrating.**

 **I think I'm stalling by updating this story more than my others, since this one's just easier and all. Oh well, I'll get with it. Eventually.**

 **I currently have 69 reviews on this story. That's so perfect, thank you guys! The perfect number for this story.**

 **I love you guys! Muah!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Oh, fuuuck!"

Natsu grinned as he watched a blindfolded Lucy arch off the bed, her tits bouncing and her arms pulling on the handcuffs as she rode out her orgasm. He licked up her wet folds and gave her clit one last hard suck that had her twitching, before he sat back on his knees. "Now that's a beautiful sight."

She panted as she came down from her high. "What now?"

"Now." He grinned as he crawled up her body, and he licked the shell of her ear. "I'm gonna fuck you."

She moaned as he pinched her nipples, but pouted when he pulled away. A clink sounded, and her hands were free from the handcuffs. Before she could do anything though, she was pulled from under her knees to the edge of the bed.

He quickly turned her over when her feet hit the floor, and with a groan he plunged himself inside her, her throaty moan muffled as her face pressed against the mattress. "God, you are so tight." He growled as he palmed her round cheeks.

"Nu-uh." He quickly grabbed the insides of her elbows when she tried to take off the blindfold, and he pulled so her back was forced to arch with her arms. He pressed his chest to her back and bit the lobe of her ear as he pistoled in an out of her. Every time he hit deep inside of her, he could feel her inner walls ripple, along with the ripple of her ass cheeks when his pelvis slapped against them. "Fuck."

"Oh god, Natsu! Harder!" She shouted as her back arched and she tried to press herself closer to him.

He growled and released her arms, one hand pulling her by her neck so that she was flush against him, and the other roughly squeezing her breast. Both of her hands came up to roughly grab onto his hair, while she used her knees against the edge of the mattress to match his forceful thrusts. His mouth latched onto the spot in the crook of her neck and shoulder, and she cried out when he bit it. "You like that?" He growled lowly against her skin.

"God, yes."

"Then cum for me." He rasped as he licked a path up her neck and his hand left her breast to travel down to her clit. "I want to feel your sweet pussy gush around me."

"Jesus Christ!" With one hard thrust, his dirty words, and his fingers pressing against her clit, she exploded, scraping her nails across his scalp and her head falling back onto his shoulder as she screamed.

"Holy fucking-Ah!" Feeling her explode around him was too much, and he erupted inside her with one more deep thrust. He grunted as he fell on top of her onto the mattress, and he wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed the back of her neck.

"I can't breathe with your fat ass on me." She panted, but made no effort to move.

He chuckled and bit her neck as he withdrew himself from her and settled his dick in the crack of her ass. "Ever heard of post-coital cuddling?"

"This isn't cuddling its crushing. Besides, coital is a gross fucking word."

"That's what you think is a gross word?" He pulled the blindfold off her and she blinked as her eyes tried to adjust to the light. "What about coitus?"

"Still gross."

"What about tortoise?"

"Not as gross, but still kinda gross."

He rolled his eyes when her stomach growled. That was the main reason why they had never post-coital cuddled in the past week, her stomach was insatiable. "Lemme guess, you're hungry."

She gasped. "How'd you know? Get off me so I can eat."

He grumbled as he did as requested. He hummed as he looked around for his clothes. "You know, there's not much food left in the fridge."

"Then maybe we should steal some. It is almost dinner time." She mused while she pulled on her panties.

"Sounds like a date." He grinned as he zipped up his pants.

"Can an act made in the desperation of survival really be a date?" She asked as she put her shirt over her head.

He chuckled. "It can be when you're having fun."

"Whatever. It's not a date. We aren't dating."

"But you are my unicorn."

She huffed. "Whatever, pig breath."

"Looney tits." He grinned while she glared at him.

"Pigmy puff penis."

"Jumping jack stack."

"Jackhammering pencil dick."

"Mouth-watering watermelon."

She gave him the finger. "Fuck you, let's go." He just laughed as he followed after her.

* * *

"This is gonna be great." Natsu grinned evilly as they neared the house of his dear friend, Gray Fullbuster.

"I gotta admit, I'm definitely gonna enjoy this." Lucy smirked as she gripped the straps of her backpack.

"Oh, man! I can't wait to see his face! Fucker's not gonna know what hit him!"

Lucy's eyebrows drew together when they got closer to the house. "What's that noise?"

Natsu pursed his lips as he strained his ears. "Sounds like laughing, some music…. Mother fucker!"

"Wait!" She cursed when she quickened her steps to follow after the boy who just printed off. "The fuck?!" She almost slammed into his back when he suddenly stopped. "The hell crawled up your ass?"

"That rat bastard!" He raised a clenched fist in the air as he looked at his friends' house. "He threw a god damn, motherfucking party without me!"

Lucy rose an eyebrow at him. "So? You were gonna steal his food."

"OH what the fuck ever, the asshole deserves it!" He fumed before he grabbed her wrist. "Come on, let's punch the cocksucker in the face."

"Wait! Ugh!" She could only be dragged in the direction of the house. "I don't wanna!" She whined.

He looked back at her as he dragged her, and smirked. "There'll be food."

"Food?" She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Lots of food." He nodded.

She grinned. "Fuck yeah, lets crash this bitch!" He laughed as he let go of her wrist, and followed after her as she practically ran towards the house.

* * *

 **I know this chapter is really short, buttt no fucks.**

 **I love you guys! Muah! My cat is sleeping but I'll lick her anyways!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Food. Food. Food. Where the _fuck_ is the goddamn motherfu-There it is!

Lucy dodged the strung out couples lounging around, having lost sight of Natsu a while ago, and reached between the bodies of two teens making out, to grab a bowl full of Cheetos. "Beautiful." She whispered as she dumped the entire bowl's contents into her bag. She set the bowl back down, and making sure no one saw her, she zipped up her bag and went on the hunt for more.

* * *

"Fullbuster!" Natsu shouted as he shoved his way into the kitchen.

"Natsu?!" Gray's eyes widened, and he set his beer down before he glared at the rapidly approaching teen. "Who the hell invited you?"

Natsu grinned right before he swung his right fist into Gray's left cheek. "That's who, ya bastard!" He shook his hand out as the raven-haired teen rubbed the left side of his face. "Having a party without me, you droopy-eyed motherfucker."

"Son of a bitch." Gray grumbled. "I didn't invite you, cuz I didn't want your blonde lunatic eating all my goddamn food."

As Natsu glared hard at him, a head of blonde hair caught his attention, and out of the corner of his eye he watched as she poured the contents of a bowl that was on the counter into her bag. He smirked as he looked back at Gray. "Well, you'd fucking deserve it, asshole."

Gray rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Where the hell is she anyways?"

Natsu's eyes flickered towards her as she inconspicuously left the kitchen, giving him a wink as she did so, before he looked back at the man and shrugged. "Dunno."

Gray rose an eyebrow. "That's surprising, you two've been attached at the hip. If I didn't know better, I'd think you're dating."

"Nah. She's my unicorn." He grinned as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"The hell does that mean?"

He shrugged as he popped open the cap and took a swig. "Just means she's special."

Gray crossed his arms. "Do you even know anything about her? Like, why she was homeless?"

"Nope."

"What if she's dangerous?"

"She could be a murderer and I wouldn't give a shit."

"Damn. That must be some good pussy."

Natsu's eyes narrowed at the man, and before he thought about why he did it, he punched him in the face again.

"You fucker!" Gray returned his punch this time.

* * *

"Well if it isn't Bunny-girl."

Lucy froze mid-step and turned her head to see Gajeel leaning against the wall with a beer in his hand, smirking at her. She put her foot back in place. "Gajeel."

"Where's yer boy toy?"

She shrugged. "Probably putting his dick in a hole."

Gajeel cackled and put his hand on her shoulder. "I like you."

"Flattering, but I'd rather have a drink."

He rolled his eyes and motioned for her to follow him. She did, and she quickly grabbed articles of snacks from bowls as she did so.

"What's yer poison?" He asked as he stopped at an ice bucket in the living room.

"Shots."

His eyebrows rose, and he smirked as he watched her give the finger to someone who stumbled into her. "Nothin that fancy here, princess." He grabbed a bottle of rum and held it up. "Can you handle a pirate's life?"

Lucy smirked as she snatched it form him "Why Gajeel, haven't you heard? That's the only life for me."

He grinned a shark-like grin that she found slightly terrifying. "How about we make this a little more interesting."

She rose an eyebrow at him. "I'm listening."

* * *

Natsu and Gray stumbled into a room upstairs that contained Gajeel, Lucy, and Lisanna sitting on the floor. Lucy seemed to be in the middle of a story, so Natsu went over and sat down next to her.

"And that's why I ended up burying the body in the woods." She finished, and the two who had been listening laughed. She felt a stare on the side of her face, so she turned to see both Natsu and Gray giving her an incredulous look. "The hell are you looking at?"

"N-Nothing!" They both squeaked out, making the laughing duo laugh harder.

"Alright, alright." Gajeel chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. "Now that we have more people, we should play never have I ever."

"May we join?"

They all looked up to see Erza and Levy walking into the room.

"More the merrier." Gajeel grinned as he gestured for them to take a seat on the floor. "Alright. Bunnies first."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Never have I ever fucked a girl with a strap-on." When no one drank form the bottle and only stared her, she sighed. "Damn, I thought for sure Erza had."

"Never have I ever killed someone." Natsu decided to go next as he stared at Lucy's face from his spot beside her.

She puffed her cheeks out. "Why are you looking at me, shit stain?"

Natsu narrowed his eyes at her. "Then who the hell did you bury?"

She ignored Natsu and Lisanna's snickering. "I had a doll named Gonzales once. God rest her soul."

Natsu looked even more confused, but Gray piped up next. "Never have I ever been in trouble with the cops."

Two groans were heard, and first Gajeel took a drink, then Lucy.

Erza looked at them both sternly. "What did you two do?"

"Not how the game works, red." Gajeel glared at the woman. "Next."

"Umm… Never have I ever had sex." Levy chimed from beside Gray, and she blushed when they all looked at her in shock.

"I can fix that." Gajeel smirked after he took a swig, and the poor girl's face went up in flames.

After Lucy, Natsu, Gray, and Erza all took a swig, it was Erza's turn.

"Never have I ever grown my own vegetable garden."

"Neither has anyone who was born in the last thirty years." Lucy grumbled as they all passed the bottle around. Erza glared at her, but she just returned the glare.

Lisanna smirked as she chimed in, "never have I ever been homeless."

Lucy's eyes slowly narrowed on the girl as she took a long swig. She started getting tipsy after that one.

Gajeel grinned. "Never have I ever dined at the 'Y'."

"Disappointing." Lucy mumbled, and he gave her a wink in reply.

"Fucker." Natsu and Gray both mumbled as they took a swig.

"Hmm. Never have I ever had a pet." Lucy rubbed her chin as she thought about what she just said. "Yeah, no I haven't."

Gajeel and Natsu grumbled as they both took swigs.

"Alright! Lucy, I dare you to kiss me!" Natsu grinned, and Lucy rolled her eyes, which made her dizzy.

"That's not the game, fucktard!"

"I don't give a rat's left testicle!" Natsu shouted at Gajeel, before he turned back to Lucy. "Kiss me, bitch."

Lucy couldn't help but return his grin, and she grabbed the back of his head and smashed her lips onto his. A few whistles went unnoticed by the pair as Natsu groaned and pulled her towards him as he plunged his tongue into her mouth.

"Get a fucking room!" Gray shouted as he smacked Natsu on the back of the head.

Natsu broke away from the kiss, albeit reluctantly, and gave Gray the middle finger. "Gladly, fuck face." He pulled a blushing Lucy up from the floor and dragged her out of the room.

"Let's go back to your place, that way we can be as loud as we want." Lucy bit her lip as they maneuvered through the crowd.

He grinned back at her. "I like the way you think."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Once they made it out of the house and into the woods, they both started giggling uncontrollably. Quite clearly intoxicated, they didn't make it very far through the woods until they both fell down; Lucy on top of Natsu.

"Oh god, childhood flashback!" Natsu wheezed. "Shamu attacks!"

"Don't call me fat, you bitch." Lucy slapped his chest as she tried to contain her laughter, but it came out in short bursts anyways.

"The horror!" He gasped. "Oh, god the horror! My popcorn!"

"Silly boy." She giggled as she sat up and grabbed her backpack. "I've got your popcorn right here."

He sat up with her still straddling his hips, and he grinned as he hastily opened the bag. He grabbed a handful of whatever was in there and shoved it into his mouth. "Bitch, that's not popcorn."

"Awe, don't be disappointed, baby." She winked as she grabbed her own handful. "I call it party mix."

He couldn't help but grin at her. "So funny." She just hummed as she feasted on all the snacks.

She took out a very long cheeto from the bag and held it up between them with a wink. He smirked and they both leaned in. In unison, they both whispered, "you beautiful bitch, you" before they each took an end into their mouths. As the cheeto snapped in half, Lucy plunged her tongue into his mouth and stole the cheeto with her tongue.

She smirked as she chewed, and he grinned at her when she hummed. "Greedy bitch."

She chuckled as she swallowed, which caused her to cough a few times, and Natsu chuckled at her as he slid his hands up her thighs to rest on her waist.

"Did you forget how to swallow?"

"Ass." She muttered when her coughing subsided.

He leaned up and licked the skin right underneath her ear, grinning when she shivered. "I got something for ya."

"Oh yeah?" She smirked and rolled her hips against his, loving the way his breath hitched. "A nice big package?"

"Mmm" he hummed against the side of her neck as his hand slipped into his back pocket. "It's very special." He pulled back and held up a small black box.

She eyed it warily. "If you're asking me to marry you, I'm gonna say yes, marry you, kill you in your sleep, then inherit all your money."

A laugh barked out of his chest and he shook his head. "You're gonna have to find a better way to kill me. I'll haunt you if you give me a bad headline."

She smirked, "alright then. How does 'impaled by a shit-covered stick' sound to you?"

He grinned. "Perfect! Let's get started then."

She sighed dramatically as she accepted the small box. "If you insist, you fucking suicidal maniac." She ignored his chuckling and opened the box, expecting a ring, but seeing a gold unicorn on a gold chain. "I thought you were fucking kidding when you called me that."

"Hell no. You're my fucking unicorn, no shits, hands, or asses about it." He said with a serious face.

She pursed her lips, trying not to comment on how wrong he got that expression, but her lips slowly shifted into a smile, for a reason she didn't know. She gently took the chain out of the box and undid the clasp. She put it around her neck and muttered, "you realize this is romantic as fuck, right?"

Natsu hummed his approval as he eyed the unicorn sitting right above her cleavage. "Well, I'm a romantic as fuck kind of guy."

She rolled her eyes. "That's the biggest bag of shit I've ever smelled."

He grinned and lunged forward, successfully pinning her to the ground. "Now, you can't tell me that fucking in the woods, near bird shit, and under the stars isn't romantic as fuck."

"Damn, you're right." She smiled. "I really hate it when you're right."

He chuckled and dropped his head to connect his lips to hers, his hands roaming down her sides to grip her ass.

* * *

The pair stumbled up to the house, Natsu shirtless since his shirt was being worn by Lucy; since he ripped it.

"Can I drive your car?" Lucy asked.

"Hell no, you might eat the seats cuz they look like chocolate." He grumbled as he fumbled in his pockets for his keys.

"It looks like chocolate?" Her eyes perked and she look over at the car in the driveway. "Wait…did you buy another car?"

"No." He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at where she was looking. "Oh, what the hell?"

"What? Did you have an epiphany that you're the anti-christ?" She smirked.

Natsu stared at her intensely, which made her glare at him, before he sighed. "The sperm that birthed me is here."

Her eyes widened. "You're hot dad?!"

"Exac-wait, what?" His eyes widened when she barged into the house. "Oh, fuck no." He glared at her back as he followed her.

"Mr. hot dad?" She called into the house, and she stopped in the kitchen when she saw him.

He was leaning into the fridge, but he was looking at her over his shoulder with his eyebrows drawn together. His eyes flicked to his son when he came to a stop next to the girl. "Am I supposed to answer to that?"

Natsu grabbed the girl's arm and turned her towards him. "Please tell me you're fucking joking."

"Oh, fuck no. Your dad is hot as hell."

The older man straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest with a smirk on his face. "I don't usually like your choice of girls, son, but I have to say, I'm liking this one."

"Oh my god." Lucy breathed. "Say that last part again."

The older man's eyebrows rose with a bigger smirk on his face, while Natsu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck me in the asshole."

She turned to him with a smirk. "Oh, not yet. We have to get married first, remember?"

Natsu couldn't help the smile that pulled on his lips at that. "Yeah yeah, but you can't go fucking your father-in-law."

She pouted. "But he looks like a big piece of chocolate."

Igneel's eyes bugged out of his head. "M-married…. F-Father-in-law?" His whispered words went unheard.

"How about I buy you a life-sized bar of chocolate for a wedding present?"

"Hot damn, you just made my pussy clench."

"Good." Natsu grinned. "Now, keep it clenched and I bet your butthole will start to tingle."

She rolled her eyes. "That only happens when you clench your butt cheeks for a long time, stupid."

"And you know this because you often clench your butt cheeks?" He rose an eyebrow.

"How do you think ladies never fart, twat tart?"

He chuckled at the way that sounded. "Your butthole will love you more if you relax it, sugar tits."

"Limp dick."

"Blowjob lips.

"Fire crotch."

"Sassy snatch."

"Juice fingers."

"Cum bringer."

"Alpha fuck boy."

"Delta sexy toy."

"Stop rhyming with me, titty-tweaker." She glared at him.

"My apologies, princess peeker."

"Lucy Heartfilia?!"

They both turned with wide eyes to the older man, who was staring at her in complete shock.

"How the hell do you know my name?" She asked blandly. "Better yet, how the fuck did you figure it out from that just now?"

Natsu looked warily between his dad and his unicorn. "…What the fuck is going on?"

* * *

 **Not gonna lie, this chapter was just a lot of mumbo jumbo cuz my fingers just kept moving on the keybaord even when it made no sense at all.**

 **Anyways. You guys are amazing, and fucking beautiful. I wanna lick all of you, whether you like it or not.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Natsu's eyes flitted back and forth between the wide eyes of his father and the narrowed one's of his unicorn. "Fuckn' shit. Will someone spill the god damn marbles already?!"

"It's beans, Natsu." Lucy mumbled as she refused to break eye contact with Natsu's hot dad.

"They could be turd pebbles for all I care, will someone just please, tell me what the fuck is going on?!"

Igneel ignored his son as he continued to stare at Lucy. "You do realize that the entire city's police force is looking for you, right?"

"Well that escalated." Lucy crossed her arms. "Last I heard, it was half the city's police force."

Natsu grabbed her by the elbow and turned her to face him. "Is this about the body you buried in your backyard?"

Igneel's eyes bugged out of their sockets while Lucy bust out laughing. "Could you get any more clueless?"

Natsu puffed out his cheeks. "I wouldn't be clueless if you fuckin' told me shit."

"What are you, my boyfriend?" She asked with a quirked brow.

He gave her a pointed look. "Who the fuck is clueless now?"

She gave him a dead stare. "You're not my boyfriend."

To which he rolled his eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, princess."

"I should really take a picture." Igneel mumbled. "You two are fucking adorable."

"Oh yeah, you're still here." Natsu looked at his dad in genuine surprise, and ignored the way he looked at him like an alien was crawling out of his ass. "How do you know who she is anyways?"

Igneel looked at Lucy. "Should you tell him? Or should I?"

She crossed her arms under her chest. "Does he have to know at all?"

"Yes." Natsu threw his hands in the air. "Yes, he really, _really_ needs to know!"

"Fine!" She leaned her hip out as she gave Natsu an annoyed look. "Short version: My dad offed himself, now I'm supposed to be in the foster system, but it sucks and they only want my dead, rich dad's money, so I ran away cuz they're a bunch of uncaring, spoiled, money hungry assholes."

Natsu stared at her face, every inch of her face, then looked at his dad. "So, how do you know her?"

"Really, son?" Igneel mumbled in disbelief, but decided to clue in the poor boy all the same. "She's been all over the news, and it's part of my job to know what's going on. Honestly, I'm surprised you don't know anything about this… It's everywhere."

"Either fucking way." Lucy huffed. "I'm not going fucking back, so if you're planning on turning me in, old…really hot man…. I should just leave right fucking now."

"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Natsu shouted, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Let's just calm down and not talk crazy."

"Yeah, relax, kid." Igneel said scratching his head. "I'm not into ruining lives. Besides, you might save my son a few STD's."

Lucy smirked while Natsu blandly replied, "You're so funny I think I shit myself."

Igneel crossed his arms over his chest. "I think it's safe to assume you've been living here."

"You're so intuitive it's scary." Lucy rolled her eyes while Natsu snickered.

"Alright, sassy." Igneel uncrossed his arms and started walking to the living room. "I'd like to speak with you alone."

A small moan left her lips. "I thought you were never gonna ask." Her eyes crossed when a finger made its way an inch from her face.

"Don't even think about it, sugar tits." Natsu glared at her hard and when a smirk lifted onto her lips, he waved his finger. "Nah ah ah! Don't!"

She rolled her eyes, smirk still on her face, and grabbed the back of his head, smashing her lips onto his. His finger was still in mid-air as her tongue invaded his mouth. She pulled back and gave him a sultry smile. "You know you're my main dick."

He watched her hips sway as she walked away with a hum of contentment, and it wasn't until she was out of the room that her words registered in his mind. "There's no way." He shook his head and started walking towards the fridge, giving one final suspicious glance in the direction she went.

"Sit down, Lucy." Igneel patted the couch cushion beside him.

She warily sat down as far away from him as she could. "Is this the part where you tell me I'm not good enough for your son and I should take my wide vagina to the door?"

Igneel choked in surprise while trying not to laugh at what she just said. "N-No…I just want to know why you're still running away."

She inhaled deeply through her nose. "Some fucks are gonna adopt me to get my dad's money. They'll give me fake smiles and excuse all the rebellious, adolescent shit I'll do, cuz hell, they'll be getting a fortune in return for not giving a shit about me. Then when I'm eighteen, they get all the money and say buy to me. Why the fuck would I want to do that?"

"Ever killed anyone?" Igneel said seriously as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

"I wish, but no." She seriously replied.

"Robbery?"

"Every day."

"Sexually active?"

"I've been living with your son, what do you think?"

"Are you in school?"

"Can't since I'm on the run."

"What are your plans for the future?"

"Whatever the fuck happens, happens."

Igneel stared at her hard for a good five minutes, before he grinned a big toothy grin and held his hand out for her. "Welcome to the family, Lucy."

"Did you just adopt me?" She asked as she hastily accepted the hand shake, internally squealing at being able to feel his rough skin.

"Well, if I did that then there'd be some seriously kinky incest going on in this house." Igneel smirked as he stood up. "No, what I'm saying is I approve of the wedding, take care of my son… He's a special case."

Lucy snorted and watched him leave, noting one tuft of pink hair in the corner of the doorway, and she couldn't help the smile that made its way to her lips. "Yeah…" she murmured under her breath. "He's something."

* * *

 **Annnd it's been fucking forever again...so sorry...soooo busy..**

 **Oohhhh I love you alll soooo muchhh! ahhh i wish i could slut myself for you!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Lucy yawned as she opened the door to her designated room, her eyes still not having opened yet.

"FUCK!" A ringing pain spread from her pinky toe to her whole foot and her eyes snapped open to see what the fuck she hit it on. "Stairs." She mumbled, glaring at the cocky corner of the wall leading down the stairs. "Such inglorious little cockstains."

Yawning, she rubbed her eyes as she walked down the fucking stairs. In the midst of her descent, she heard a deep voice by the door. Not the sexy, deep voice of Natsu's hot dad, but a more bland type of deep voice. Then she heard the sexy, deep voice of Natsu's hot dad and her insides melted a little. Wait… did she just hear her name?

Without making any noise and using her tip toes, as one does when trying to be a silent ninja, she floated down the rest of the steps and peeked her head around the corner.

"If you have any idea where she might be, or if you happen to come across her at any point, give us a call." A police officer who was just as bland looking as his voice said. He was standing in the open door with Natsu and Igneel in front of him. "You've got our number."

Lucy rolled her eyes at that, but inside her heart was melting.

"Will do officer." Igneel said as Natsu saluted to the man, grunting when Igneel elbowed him in the gut before he shut the door.

They hadn't said anything. They really hadn't told the police that she was there. Her face burned bright red at that thought. It was so nice of them. She stayed hidden while she watched the two make their way to the kitchen…. Well she stayed hidden until she realized they were headed to the kitchen because kitchen meant food and she was hungry as a motherfucker.

"Let's eat before the never ending black hole wakes up." Natsu mumbled as he opened the fridge.

Lucy grinned and stuck her arm through space between Natsu's body and the open fridge, snatching a plate of pancakes. "Too late."

A deep chuckle was heard by the table as Natsu whirled around and glared at her. "Why can't I have the good thing to eat at least once."

She giggled as she popped the pancakes in the microwave. "Silly boy, haven't you ever heard of ladies first?"

"Show me a lady." Natsu mumbled as he turned to look for any other food.

"I resent that." She glared at the back of his head, but immediately smiled and forgot what was going on when the microwave dinged. She took out the pancakes and took a magnificent whiff of what could only be described as God's jizz before she sat down at the table, purposely next to Igneel.

"So, Lucy." Igneel started as he sipped his coffee. "How did you and Natsu meet?"

"mour shon ish an iniot." Lucy said with her mouth full.

Natsu turned around with a glare. "Well, your daughter-in-law is a spiteful princess."

Igneel sighed. "Can someone please just tell the story."

Lucy actually made a cartoon noise when she swallowed. "I stole all of his food when he wasn't looking."

Natsu sat down at the table with some sad toast. "She stole all of my fucking food when I wasn't fucking looking."

Igneel picked up the morning paper and began to skim through it. "Interesting."

"Speaking of." Natsu smirked at her. "I still want to fuck with Gray."

Lucy giggled. "He's probably still hung over."

"Either way." He shoved the toast into his mouth. "He'sh gwetting fwucked wif."

Igneel set down the paper and stood up, making both teens cringed at the noise his chair made. "Well, you kids have fun. Don't get caught or arrested or on tv. Just lay low okay?"

"Got it."

"Aye sir."

* * *

"So, what was your dad like?" Natsu asked as him and Lucy walked down the sidewalk in town.

"Ya know, if I was more sensitive, I would punch you in the nuts for asking that without any warning."

Natsu smirked at that. "So, I'm assuming you're going to answer because you're not more sensitive?"

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "damnit, are you getting to know me better?"

"I do believe I am." He slipped his hand into hers, trying to make it nonchalant…. but she just stopped and stared at their joined hands.

After a moment, she shrugged and continued walking. "I suppose this is allowed."

"Well thank god the queen approves."

"I thought I was a princess."

"Oh you are." He helled up her hand and gave her knuckles a kiss. "You're a beauty queen who acts like a spoiled princess."

She giggled. "And you're a dick who thinks he's a dildo."

"Ya know, I'm just gonna take that as a compliment."

"As you should."

They both stopped when four guys around their age stepped in front of them. Natsu pulled Lucy behind him as one stepped closer to them.

"Are you Natsu?"

Natsu eyed him up and down. "Who's asking?"

"Does the name Candice ring any bells?" The guy said with clear irritation in his voice.

"Hmmm….. nope, never heard of her."

Lucy sighed and tugged on his sleeve. He turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Candice was the last girl you brought to your house."

His eyebrows rose as recognition dawned on him. "Oh yeah!" He turned back to the fuming guy. "Was that your sister or something?"

"You're damn right it was, you dick!" The guy then swung at Natsu and clocked him right in the jaw.

Lucy whistled and stepped away from Natsu. "To be honest, you kind of deserved that."

Natsu rubbed his jaw and squared his shoulder. "Yeah, okay, I'll give you that one. But listen, I didn't break her heart or anything, she just decided to up and leave. I didn't tell her to, even though I would have, but she was the one who made it a one night stand."

"Are you for real?" The guy scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "She told me you hit her and kicked her out."

Natsu reeled back. "Why the hell would I do that? I would never hit a woman." He turned to Lucy. "I would never hit a woman."

She smiled at him. "I know you wouldn't." Then she looked at the fuming guy. "He's telling the truth, I was there. She just left on the phone to someone I'm assuming is her boyfriend or something."

"The fuck, Candice!" The guy shouted and whirled around, signaling the other guys to follow him.

They watched the guys leave, and Lucy mumbled, "Bitches."

"Seriously, man. Don't believe everything a girl tells you." Natsu humphed.

"Especially a sister who doesn't want her brother to know she's a raging little slut magnet." Lucy giggled.

"Thanks for coming to my defense, by the way." Natsu glared at her.

She patted his cheek with a sweet smile. "You're quite welcome."

His narrowed eyes followed her as she began walking away, but when they landed on her swinging hips they soften while another part of him stiffened. "And that's why I love you." He whispered to the wind before he jogged to catch up to her.

* * *

 **Well I'm not going to give any excuses. Just wanna say thanks for continuing to read this story, and I'll try my fucking best on behalf of you beautiful forest creatures. I love you all! I'm not dead I promise.**


End file.
